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14 January 2009 @ 08:32 am
Fanfiction: Foresight  

Title: Foresight
Author:
snarkysweetness 
Characters/Pairings:
Alice, Jasper, and Emmett; implied Bella/Edward for the future. Some Alice/Jasper cuteness and Emmett hilarity. Jasper’s P.O.V.
Rating:
PG-13
Warnings:
Emmett’s mouth.
When:
Before Twilight.
Summary:
Emmett wants to get Edward a girl already, Jasper thinks it will never happen, but Alice knows better, and everyone knows better than to be against Alice.  
Disclaimer:
SMeyer owns all characters.
Author's Note:
This is for agathons_fan , I’m sorry your real twilight_santa  didn’t come through, but I hope my gifts please you.

 

“Can’t we just pay for a hooker to come over here? I mean, his depression is making me depressed bro, which just pisses me off, that he’s making me depressed. If he doesn’t get laid soon, I may kill him.”

Jasper shot Emmett a look. “Do you honestly think that our little virtuous Edward would sleep with a prostitute? He’s too damn noble for that, not to mention too ‘tortured’ to allow himself the pleasure. Besides, even if it worked, he’d probably talk her ear off the whole time and depress her into committing suicide.”

Jasper, while not having been around as long as the others, knew full well that Edward would never let himself find love, let alone enjoy the physical pleasures in life.

He couldn’t full grasp Edward’s guilt, it wasn’t as if any of them had chosen this life. Well, Jasper had, in a way, but he’d made his amends for his choice, and while it was difficult, he lived with himself and was able to enjoy love, life, and happiness. Edward really was just depressing.

Emmett chuckled. “You’re right, bro; he would drive the poor girl to suicide. What the hell are we going to do then? I can’t take much more of this.”

The sound of some emo, rock band flittered down into the main room, coming from Edward’s room.

Emmett groaned. “You see what I mean?  He needs to jerk off at least, let it out for air! Something!”

Alice floated into the room, looking pleased with herself.

Jasper gave her a look, knowing what that face meant; she’d had a vision, a good one from the looks of it.

“Why does Alice look so happy?” Emmett began to ask before she lifted a finger to shush him. She closed her eyes and after another moment, opened them again, her smile even wider.

“Now, if I tell the two of you, you must not let Edward hear it in your thoughts. Start thinking about sex, you know how that annoys him.”

Jasper reached out for her hand and she took it, moving close to his side, looking up at him happily. “Don’t worry; I could do that all day.” Jasper gave her a small wink, deciding on what he wanted to do to her later, making her furrow her brow for a moment before smiling again.

“Spit it out, Alice, I’m getting bored over here and this music is making me want to go let a mountain lion eat me.”

“Don’t worry, Emmett, Edward won’t be unhappy for much longer. Soon, very soon, he’s going to find someone, just like the rest of us. She’s coming to Forks in three days… who wants to take a bet on how long it takes him to get over himself?”

Emmett laughed. “Are you sure? Maybe your brain’s broken.”

Jasper ignored Emmett and just laughed. “Three days? I’d take your bet, but I already know I’ll lose. Emmett, care to take a wager?"

Emmett scoffed. “Hell no, if she’s sure, I’m not betting against her.”

“Good, we’re all agreed. And remember, sex on the mind, all the time, it’s the only way to keep him out of your head.” Alice smirked, kissing Jasper on the nose as Emmett went back to the football game on the television.

A moment late, they all heard Edward yelling about people keeping their thoughts to themselves. Jasper gave Alice a smile; he hoped Edward gave in on the day, Emmett was right, Edward was likely to drive them all mad before long.

 

 
 
Current Mood: artisticartistic
Current Music: 112 - Anywhere | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Ashtonwandringdreamer on January 14th, 2009 07:16 pm (UTC)
Awww this is cute! I <3 Jasper and Emmett.
Queen of Everything: Cutesy.snarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 12:05 pm (UTC)
Me too. I wants them... so much.
mipsy_chan: e/bmipsy_chan on January 14th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
I love it!

edward emo, and sex thoughts to keep him away!
lmaof. amazing!
Queen of Everything: BBT: Penny Drinkingsnarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 12:10 pm (UTC)
Edward is a prude, I'm convinced. ;)
frantic_flirtfrantic_flirt on January 14th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
“You see what I mean? He needs to jerk off at least, let it out for air! Something!”

Well said Emmett, the voice of reason!

I've always wondered if Edward did, or did not, spent his 100+ years without even a single wank...

Great ficlet!

*cheers*
Queen of Everything: Dogma: Alan Drunksnarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 12:11 pm (UTC)
I think he didn't. Probably thought it was a win or something. *snicker*
agathons_fan: Bella - Reading Loveagathons_fan on January 14th, 2009 10:31 pm (UTC)
hehe/ very adorable. thanks
Queen of Everything: Fangirlssnarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
You're welcome.
Stephanie: jazztitania_torres on January 14th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
haha i love these boys!
and I love how they think sex to keep him out! haha poor edward
Queen of Everything: I punched a werewolf in the face!snarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
Poor boy is tortured, especially with Emmett. I think that boy literally never stops thinking of it.
Stephanie: jazztitania_torres on January 15th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
haha no you gotta give the guy some credit i am sure emmett thinks about violence and fighting sometimes... haha

"no emmett, i punched a werewolf in the face" hahahahah
Queen of Everything: Sodomoize intolerance.snarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
*snicker*
Stephanie: Twilight Alicefrostbit_sky on January 15th, 2009 01:43 am (UTC)
LOL, I really liked it.
Reminded me a bit of Growing Up Cullen ;)

Emmett groaned. “You see what I mean? He needs to jerk off at least, let it out for air! Something!”
BUAHHHHHH! LMAO.

I want a sequel. Who comes to town?
Queen of Everything: BD Quotesnarkysweetness on January 15th, 2009 12:14 pm (UTC)
*snicker*

Well, Bella comes to town... and you know... he eats her uterus. lmao
jalice_azzaya on January 30th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)
Amazing totally amazing.
You got the charator's attitudes just right, spesh Emmett's :)

x
Queen of Everything: Sexy Alice (K-Bell)snarkysweetness on January 31st, 2009 01:29 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
ncvirgo91ncvirgo91 on March 11th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
lol good one. I could so see that happening.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )